Today’s gone by, the whole day without you.
I’ve only asked myself once, what am I to do.
I drove to your house, just like you told me you wished so many times.
But that was two weeks ago, when I was writing heart broken rhymes.
I lied and now your gone,
You’re the one that left, as I sat there on my lawn.
I needed time to heal, I can’t chase Anything with a broken limb.
You and your expectations are making the road so dim.
It reminds me of you, this thing we call life.
Every second, every sound, every apple cutting knife.
Snap goes that tie,
Little white lie.
Many more tears,
None swallowing your fears.
Please hear me when I say
It’s inmy heart you will always lay.

I want
Your legs
Draped over my shoulders,
Your voice,
Breath-filled and coy;
Your hands
Pulling me in closer,
Your body writhing with joy;

My face
Buried deep between
Your thighs,
Holding me in place
My nose
Filled with your sweet scent
My tongue
Dancing with your taste.

I want
Your kisses to be soft,
Your face hair
To be scruffy,
Your plans
Be confidential
Your heart
Filled with pleasure.

My noises
Be music to your ears.
My fingers
Pulling at your hair.
My mind
So blown by you
My heart
No longer in two.

Love.

This world is filled with love. Everywhere I look I see it, in many forms.
Those younge couples, those old couples, my aunt and uncle, both my best friends.
I see the love I love, but that love clouds my eyes.
I know the dark side of love, the side I'm so afraid of.
The world is filled with hate.
In many human beings, it is so.
In the young, in the old, in every story told.

It's a crazy thing called love, and opposites always attract.
Maybe there's a reason I should be scared, infact.

.

Don't take me there,
it hurts to much.
Before my dreaded hair,
When we were in love and such.

I fucked it up,
More than just missing par.
I take it back, that hidden "supp".
Even if it stop you from being far.

I hate myself for ruining love for you,
Your eyes, your heart, your soul, so blue.

Never forgive me, I don't deserve it.
I deserve to live my life with my candle forever unlit.

Just know one thing,
You'll always make my heart sing.
I love you.

Love

In alchemy , the prinicipal that governs all things is called the soul of the world.
When you want something with all of your heart, that's when you are the closest to the soul of the world.

I should not like being alone this much.
Being alone is supposed to be my punishment .

allmixedupandtoreupaboutbeingme

I see a girl, not skinny, not fat, not tall, about short.
She is light on the eyes, literally. Blonde hair, one blue and one green (eyes), pale skin and white teeth.
Shes even light on the ears, with most the population.


I feel a girl who wants to share. But with only those who are willing to listen.
I feel positively alone, her favorite.  Happy with all that changes, she does not fear the past nor feel the pain.
I feel the need to let it be, with most the population.


I think I am a girl that cannot see her outer shell. I think I am a girl that does not want an outer shell.
I think I am a girl that thinks to much,and does not reflect enough.
She thinks she is a girl, no one can see. Reality? I think I am a girl that wants no one to see, at least with most the population.

Chris McCandless.
you died 19 years ago...
always my biggest hero.
I feel what you longer for, not just a rains pour.
To live in the wild, to prove you're no child.
Nature it calls, it beckons my soul.
Or maybe I am misled and its where I belong, for my heart never tells me its wrong.
To live with the trees, to survive on the land.
To let my being freeze among mother natures cold sand.

There is a reason I always want to be alone, never residing to a home is prone.
I do not like the animals we have become, its people I run from.
Wind fills my bones in just the right way, to it I pray.
Help me find the road, the one embeded with my hearts code... may it be Maine or Spain, or a wide open plain. Filled with flowers, no towers, no humans, no lies.
I want to live looking through Earth's eyes.

Oh Chris, for you I will kiss,
This adventure that lies within me, right on the lips.
It will be mine, dirt one with my spine.
Ill put my heart to the grind.

Ill go, Im going, Im gone.

8.28.12

A day of drowsiness, a day of dispair, I don't know what to do with myself, I just want to be free.
Just get through today, maybe tonight's sleep will heal all. If not read another book, that's never a bad call.

Just breath.

the begining of something old and unfinished, with a little of my worry spot .

The start to a mental unload.
My days drive, endurance, and  ,
never keeping there eye on the end of the road.


^ Unfinished.

Worry Spot.
A rubbed off corner
A stress relief
Never found amongst happiness & cheer,
only grief.
Its the loneliness of this corner that I fear.
I do not want it to feel alone, but instead feel me as home.